For Happy Students

Memo to all students.

In order to assure the highest levels of quality
work and productivity from students, it will be
our policy to keep all students well taught
through our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T.
than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share
of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your lecturer.
You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T.
list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go
to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated,
they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full
of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in
a job teaching others. We can add your name to our
BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
For students who are intending to pursue a career in management
and consulting, we will refer you to the department of
MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION ( M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
( B.I.G. S..H.I.T.)

PS.
Now send this S.H.I.T. to 5 people who need S.H.I.T. in
their life, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T.,
they have already had their fill of S.H.I.T.

Thank You for your time.
Sincerely,

The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super
High Intensity Teaching.
(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)

Words of Wisdom

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell-a-Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends. (for guys)

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ? It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest. They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says :
No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY to GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH somebody TWICE for the same Mistake

OLD WOMAN AND HER DAUGHTERS

Once, there was a widow who has three daughters. One day, her three daughters merried and went along with their husbands. Before they went, the old woman told her daughters to write to her about their experiences of marriage after one month.
After one month later, the eldest daughter wrote to her mother. The letter contained only two words "Chatter Bank ". The old lady didn't know the meaning of Chatter Bank. So , she found in the directory. She found the advertisement of Chatter Bank. Their motto is " Strong, Big and Stick ". Then she murmured , " I see".
The second daughter wrote to her only two words, " Coffee Bean ". She also didn't know the meaning of Coffee Bean. So, she found again in the directory. Then she saw the slogan of Coffee Bean. It said " Very tasteful until the last drop ". She said again, " I see".
The youngest daughter wrote also two words , " Singapore Airline ". She also didn't know and found in the directory. The statement of Singapore Airline is " Four or five times a day. Seven days a week. Nonstop flight". Then she whisper " Now, I clearly see."

HAPPIEST MAN

A: Do you know who is the happiest man in the world? B: I don't know. A: It is Adam. B: Why? A: Because he got a wife but he didn't get a mother in law. B: Right .

MATHS OF LIFE ( scary but quite true )

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

E_mail Addresses of some famous people

A
A1 : a1@al-online.com
Aceof Base : AceofBase@arista.com
Aqua : aqua@aqua.dk
Ben Affleck : Ben@affleck.com
Christina Auguilera : fanmail@christinamail.com
Alan Alda : alda@pbs.org
Alice In Chains : AICFC@speakeasy.org
Pamela Anderson : Pamela@pamelaandersonlee.com

B
BackstreetBoys : feedback@backstreetboys.com
Black Crowes : Tbctaller@aol.com
Blink 182 : mark@loserkids.com
Bloodhound Gang : lupus@bloodhoundgang.com
Bon Jovi : bonjovi@polygram.com
David Bowie : David@davidbowie.com
Boyzone : boyzone@boyzone.co.uk
Sandra Bullock : SandyB@aol.com
George W. Bush : president@whitehouse.gov

C
Bruce Campbell : bcquestions@bccentral.com
Cardigans : cardigans@cardigans.net
Aaron Carter : aaron@aaroncarter.com
Ray Charles : Raysrae@aol.com
Cher : cher@cher.com
Eric Clapton : EricClapton@wbr.com
George Clooney : GClooney@aol.com
Joe Cocker : celbmrch@ni.net
Alice Cooper : renfieldac@earthlink.net
Counting Crows : info@countingcrows.com
The Cranberries : Cranfans@aol.com
Sheryl Crow : sherylcrow@igamail.com
Tony Curtis : tony.curtis@tonycurtis.com

D
Carson Daly : carson@carsondaly.com
Destiny's Child : destinyschild@destinyschild.com
Neil Diamond : fondclub@aol.com
Cameron Diaz : cameron_diaz@hotmail.com
Leonardo DiCaprio : ICaprio0@aol.com
Bob Dylan : Bob@bobdylan.com

E
Eminem : eminem@eminem.com
Eurythmics : Eurythmics@arista.com

F
Five : 5ive@5ive.co.uk
Flaming Lips : FlamingLips@wbr.com
Michael J. Fox : Michael@michaeljfox.com
Aretha Franklin : ArethaFranklin@arista.com

G
Kenny G : KennyG@microsoft.com
Bill Gates : BillG@microsoft.com
Uri Geller : urigeller@compuserve.com
Goo Goo Dolls : GooGoDolls@wbr.com
Grateful Dead : GratefulDead@arista.com
Green Day : GreenDay@wbr.com
Guns 'N' Roses : gnr-request@teleport.com

H
Geri Halliwell : g.productions@freeuk.com
Hanson : Hansonfans@hansonline.com
Rutger Hauer : pixelville@yahoo.com
Don henley : donhenley@wbr.com
Jennifer Love Hewitt : JnfrHewitt@aol.com
Faith Hill : FaithHill@wbr.com
Whitney Houston : WhitneyHouston@arista.com

I
Billy Idol : kdol@phantom.com
Natalie Imbruglia : nataliemail@bmg-backstage.co.uk

J
Elton John : Elton@eltonjohn.com
Jenny Jones : JJmailbag@aol.com
Quincy Jones : QuincyJones@wbr.com
Judas Priest : judpriest@aol.com

K
Kiss : Kiss@kissonline.com

L
K.D.Lang : kdlang@wbr.com
Annie Lennox : AnnieLennox@arista.com
David Letterman : lateshow@cbs.com
Monica Lewinski : Cacheris@erols.com
Limp Bizkit : fanstuff@limp-bizkti.com
Jennifer Lopez : jennifer_Lopez@sonymusic.com
George Lucas : George@starwars.com

M
Barry Manilow : BarryManilow@arista.com
Steve Martin : Thegilb@aol.com
Paul McCartney : PMcCartney@emi.com
Reba McEntire : reba@reba.com
Bettle Midler : bette@wbr.com
The Moffatts themoffatts@themoffatts.com
MTV : feedback@mtv.com

N
'N SYNC : Questions@nsync.com
willie Nelson : willie@willienelson.com
No Doubt : nodoubt@nodoubt.com

O
YokoOno : yoko@yoko.com
Donny Osmond : donny@osmond.com
Marie Osmond : marie@osmond.com

P
Brad Pitt : BPitt001@aol.com
Lisa Marie Prsley : lisa@lisapresley.com
Prince : Prince@arista.com
Prodigy : prodigy@maverick.com
Puff Daddy : Puffy@badboyonline.com

Q
Queen Latifah : queenlatifah@tvtalkshows.com

R
R.E.M. : REM@wbr.com
Radiohead : Radiohead@emigroup.com
Red Hot Chili Peppers : info@redhotchilipeppers.com
Kenny Rogers : fans@kennyrogers.net
A1 Roker : mailbag@roker.com
Rolling Stones : stonesworld@musicblvd.com
Roseanne : roseanne@kingworld.com

S
S Club 7 : sclub7@sclub7.co.uk
Adam Sandler : Sandler@cirs.com
Carlos Santana : santana@santana.com
Seal : Seal@wbr.com
William Shantner : william@williamshatner.com
Carly Simon : CarlySimon@arista.com
Paul Simon : PaulSimon@wbr.com
The Simpsons : thesimpsons@thesimpsons.com
Sisqo : Sisqo@umusic.com
Wesley Snipes : HERUKUSH@aol.com
Britney Spears : Britney@britney.com
Stephen Spielberg : SSBerg@amblin.com
Sting : amrecords@boxtop.com

T
Shania Twain : mercnash@polygram.com

U
Usher : Usher@arista.com

V
Van Halen : VanHalen@wbr.com

W
Lindsay Wagner : Lindsay@fansource.com
Andrew Lloyd Webber : rucny@reallyuseful.com
Westlife : westlife@westlife.co.uk
Oprah Winfrey : Oprah@aol.com
James Woods : JamesWoods@aol.com
Tiger Woods : Tiger@tigerwoods.com

Y
Neil Young : NeilYoung@wbr.com
Paul Young : paul@paul-young.com

Z
Zaw Zaw Maung : zawzawmaung@gmail.com

DAFFY- NITIONS

B.A : a degree which indicates that the holder has mastered the first two letters of the alphabet... backwards.

Backseat driver : a driver who drives the driver.

Black eye : a stamp of disapproval.

Bore : a guy, who, if you ask him what time it is, will start telling you how to make a watch.

Boss : the guy who watches the clock during the coffee break.

Boxing : guided muscle.

Chess : a game played on square by squares.

Christmas : that time of the year when mother has to separate the man form the toys.

Confidence : that quality which permits an individual to do crossword puzzles with a fountain pen.

Diploma : a job-hunting licence.

Expert : one who knows all the answers if you ask right questions.

Failures : the battlescars of those tried.

Genius : 1. a crackpot who hit the jackpot. 2. a man who can talk his boss to give him a raise... and his wife into letting him keep it.

Impossible : what nobody can do until somebody does it.

Infinity : a kind of foreverness that begins a speaker says, " and in conclusion."

Know-all : one who pretends to know something about everything but really knows nothing about anything.

Love : a word made up of two vowles, two consonants, and two fools.

Minute : that period of time in which, after keeping her husband waiting for an hour.

Money : what we spend for luxuries and owe for necessities.

Nothing : a bladeless knife without a handle.

Parking meter : a device that makes you do two hours shopping in one.

Patience : a postponed temper.

Pessimist : one who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.

Refrigerator : where you put dabs of food on dishes you don't want to wash.

Secret : something a woman tells every body not to tell anybody.

Shotgun wedding : a case of wife or death.

Television set : a watching machine.

Thesaurus : a book to look up for another word when you do not know the spelling of a word.

Wizard : a man who can describe -without gestures, an accordion, a spiral staircase, or a girl.

Zoo : a place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

IQ QUESTIONS FOR GENIUS

This IQ test is for sharp person. It contain 18 questions. Give one point if you correct one question. If you get 1 point to 6 point , you are a sharp person. If you get 7 points from 12 point, you are a very very smart person. If you get over 12, you are a genius. Ok, let try it.

1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters ( only alphabet are allowed, no numeric digits allowed. )

2.Sex?
() Male
() Female
() Don't know

3.What is 2+2=?
() Four
() 4
() IV

4. If you have one brother, how many brothers does your brother have?
() None
() One
() Question is too personal

5. Complete the following sentence:
-------- --------- --------- -----------

6. If there are 365 days in a year, how many days make a year?

7. Read the statement carefully and answer the following question:
" My mother's daughter's brother's mother's mother'daughter's
husband's wife is my mother herself."
Q: How many times does the word 'mother' appear in the above
statement?
() None
() Sometimes
() Uncountable

8. If someone gives you a kyat for 100 pyas, would you get:
() One kyat?
() 100 pyas?

9. Write an essay on " Myself " in not more than three sentences...
( Hint: My name is ........( same as in No.1) I'm a ..........( boy/ girl ). ( I
am writing an essay.)

10. If the time 3:00 a.m, what does your digital watch show?

11. This is question number -------.
() 1
() 11
() 20

12. Write full form of ASAP, as soon as possible. ( Hint:... As soon as....)

13. Think and write the present tense of THOUGHT.

14. If you eat lunch during lunchtime, what will you have during
dinnertime?

15. Spell T-H-E-S-A-U-R-U-S

16. Complete the following series
1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1, ...., ...., .....

17. On which day does Good Friday fall?

18. a, e, i, o, and u are called "vowels".
What are e, a, o, u and i called?

For happy people

This world is for happy people. Happiness is a key which can open many doors. Happiness is a best medicine which can cure many diseases. If you feel sad, this site will make you to happy. Let's make the whole world to happy as much as we can from now on.